You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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