what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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