I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
