Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
handjob tips. give me some.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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