I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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