giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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