If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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