maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
