there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize