dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
