I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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