During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm just crazy horny about you
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
