sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
