i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
