..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
