I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
