Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
