ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
