i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
