You work out of a Hotel?
I wish I only lived at night.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize