U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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