oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
