i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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