Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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