.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
