quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Are my feet made of real feet?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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