Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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