summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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