Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Randomize