No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
