at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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