So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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