I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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