Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
