Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
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What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
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Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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