i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Are we still banned from the library?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just want to make out with him forever
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
