I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
