They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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