Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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