Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
