The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
