i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
