i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.