You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
