I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
