This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I didn't notice because vodka
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
