I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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