You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is it because I queefed?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
