She announced her abortion via fbk
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
did you just send me my own nude
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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