he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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