Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
