This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
