so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
