It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
