I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
