How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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