Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I understand Curling. That high.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
