think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
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Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
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Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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