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Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
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