More tranny stories later!
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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