we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
my liver is dry heaving
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
