you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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