she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize