There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
