Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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