no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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